A perspective on blessings

There are several things I'd rather do right now than sit at a computer. It's gorgeous out, the kids are gone, the washer just stopped, I'm about to start cooking a meal that will take about an hour to bake, and if I can, I'd like to fit in a walk while it's in the oven.

But this is on my mind, and every writer knows if you don't put thoughts to paper (er...computer) when you have them, you lose them forever. (Hopefully I need to write this because someone else needs to hear it. I like to think that when I share things like this, someone else can find something useful in it.)

I've been thinking about mindset and circumstances. I've been incredibly stressed out lately. I don't feel comfortable going into all the gory details, but suffice it to say there's way too much month left at the end of the money lately.

It feels all too familiar. Deep down on a cellular level, I remember the days of walking to the store with $4 in my pocket to buy supper for that night and lunch the next day. I remember the meter reader patiently waiting to cut off my electricity while I desperately walked to a neighbor's to call my husband to pay it, and he couldn't. I remember going to Ryan's for dinner and leaving the water bill to wait for another day....and that day usually being a week after the due date. I remember selling our only vehicle to pay the rent.

Some days, I feel like I'm there again. Money is not always a conscious thought, but it is always, always, always in the back of my mind. These are the times when counting my blessings becomes hugely important. But I forget to.

I can't immediately change my circumstances, but I can change how I look at them. I have a nice house. It's not fancy, but I sure don't mind having company. That's something I have not always been able to say. The bills are paid on time and in full every month...I never even see the meter reader, let alone know his name. I have a closet full of clothes. Nice ones, too. Once upon a time, I mostly wore my husband's T-shirts. I have a kitchen full of food, gas in the car, and I have not once run out of either. (Let me interject here...God has taken care of us by providing us with family and friends who support us. I can never count my blessings without remembering that and being thankful for it above everything except His salvation.) We are warm in the winter and cool in the summer. My children are stable and happy.

In other words, God meets all of our needs. Without fail.

And if I look at it that way, I find what frustrates me the most isn't that I don't make enough to support us. I do. What frustrates me is that I don't have enough to do the things I want to do. That puts a whole new spin on things, doesn't it? When I think of it like that, suddenly stressing about money makes me feel like I'm a 2-year-old having a temper tantrum because I can't have a lollipop.

So on that note, I'm now going to go cook a fantastic meal for my children, because I can and I want to.