The Sandwiches of Pineapple

I am starting to think that this whole internet down thing is a good thing. For one, it forces me to get out of that chair. That's good. Movement reminds me how little I do it. My house is getting cleaner. I'm seeing my friends family more, because they have computers that work. (I'm KIDDING! (Kinda). I really do love you!!!)

Moving on....

Speaking of family, I'm gonna see a whole slew of them Saturday at the annual Christmas party. But what my mom and I were talking about yesterday were The Pineapple Sandwiches. I don't think anybody's going to bring them this year and that makes me kind of sad. See, these aren't just any pineapple sandwiches. These are special pineapple sandwiches. Anybody can make them, but not to serve to the Anderson clan.

It doesn't look like we will have any this year because our Official Pineapple Sandwich Maker won't be able to make it.

And no, someone else can't do it. As I said, these are special pineapple sandwiches. If they can't be done right, they won't be done at all. We can't fly in the face of tradition! Marcia's family has to make them, because she has The Glass. She inherited it from Uncle Archie, the original Official Pineapple Sandwich Maker. I've never seen this glass. I've only heard of its existence. But it is the Holy Grail of glasses, because it cuts the Pineapple Sandwich Bread to the precise circumference of the pineapple slice. Now you or I might just use the can, or any old glass, but to be the Anderson Pineapple Sandwich, it has to be made with The Glass.

You can't just use any old ingredients, either. No, sir. There is a recipe and a method to these sandwiches. Me and Mama aren't certain, but we're pretty sure there is the right brand of bread, pineapple and maraschino cherries. Of course....there has to be! And the mayonnaise! It can't be just any old mayonnaise. I know one of my cousins will help me out here. I think it's Dukes, but I'm not sure. Please don't disown me, but I don't remember!!

So then, the bread slices are cut into perfect circles with The Glass. One side of each is carefully coated with a thin layer of Special Brand Mayonnaise. Then the pineapple slices, I believe, are further carefully sliced into smaller slivers than DelMonte deemed appropriate. They are carefully placed on one these mayonnaised circles. Another mayonnaised circle is placed on top, and a cherry half -- meticulously wiped free of excess juice that would stain the perfectly white top and my favorite part of the whole sandwich -- is carefully centered in the exact middle of The Sandwich.
 
Us children in the family used to fight our way to the front of the serving line in the hopes of getting one of these delectable creations, of which there were never enough of! Sad was the kid who reached the tray to find it empty. Some people eat them in two bites. I prefer to nibble and savor the pineapple/cherry bliss. After all, if you manage get two of these bad boys at one get-together you can count yourself lucky! There are never leftovers.

For those of you who have never tasted this manna and IF you are, by chance, turning up your nose at the thought of it (which has been done), all I have to say to you is: Don't knock it til you've tried it. They are almost as awesome as my Nanny's banana cake!!