Merry Christmas!

Feeling a little pensive tonight.

Not really. I am sitting here on the night shift hoping the good people of Augusta behave so I can go home at a decent time. (Selfish? Yes! LOL) I got to sneak away from work on my dinner break and drop in on my family's Christmas party. I'm in a pretty good mood.

But I have had a thought this week I feel compelled to share. It will get deep. Change the channel now if you like.

This time last week I was pretty well freaking out. We can all agree Christmas is a stressful time, right? There are all these parties, and shopping, and presents. And if you're like me, that all translates into money.

The rest of the year it's hard to find two nickels to rub together as it is, but at Christmas? We're supposed to show each other how much we love them by spending money on them. So last week I was down because all I could think of were the things I can't do. Mainly the things I can't buy for other people. And that makes me feel bad, like a I'm a failure or somehow don't measure up.

One night last week, as I crawled into my snuggly warm bed (I wish you could hear how many times I thank God for my snuggly warm bed. I love my bed!), I started praying about these things.

"Lord, I want so bad to get _____ for Christopher for Christmas! It feels so awful not to be able to give him this thing that he wants. And I feel so bad that I was only able to get _____ for Catie. Lord, I want to be able to give them whatever they want. I really just want them to have a good Christmas!

And about that time, I think I said something like, "Lord, I know that you keep a roof over our heads and that you keep us from being hungry....."

That's when something inside me said "Lisa, shut up."

I realized that everything I was complaining about was extra stuff. When I started thanking God for the things I do have - a warm bed, a full tummy, heat, a nice house, a job doing what I love that pays for it all, it felt ungrateful to complain because I don't have more for extra stuff. I wasn't asking God for needs. I was asking God for wants. Maybe that's not wrong, exactly. I think God wants to give us more. I like to think that it was good that I was upset because I wanted to give more. But I think maybe it was wrong to ask for it as though it was something I needed, something I'm somehow entitled to.

Believe it or not, God gave me more and I was able to do more. That doesn't make my attitude right, though.

In the past 5 years, since I have been on my own, God has met all of our needs, and quite a few of our wants.

Once I realized that, most of my stress went away. :)

Anyway, I thought I'd share that, in case someone else out there is stressing over what they aren't able to do. That's not what this Christmas thing is about. This is about thanking God first of all for His gift to us. For being thankful for everything He has already given us, for joyfully (not regretfully) giving what we are able, and enjoying spending time with each other.

This really is the most wonderful time of the year.

Merry Christmas, y'all!