Growing up

My  son is 17. Which means he's a senior. Which means he's thinking about things. Life things. Big things. Like college. Career. And moving out.

A few years ago, I'm thinking about life without the kids and I'm thinking "Wooo hooo!! I'm gonna have money and I'm gonna travel and I'm gonna do all kinds of cool stuff."

(I don't know where I think all that money will come from, but that's another blog post.)

Now that we're almost on the threshold I'm thinking....wait a minute. How did this happen?

This is weird. I remember being 17 and thinking I needed to be making $500 a week to move out. I don't think I realized you could live on a lot less than that until I saw my sister do it. I, on the other hand, got married before I tried to make it on my own and, well....I guess I did learn pretty quickly you could live on less than that. And raise a family on less, too, but that, too, is another blog post.

Last week we had a college recruiter at our dining room table. We have now formally applied for college. In Tennessee. It's what he wants. I'm hopeful for him. But it's Tennessee. I'm thinking "Lord, if he goes, I hope he remembers to wash his clothes once in a while," and "You know, I don't think I like this not letting me know where he is when he leaves the house business." We need to back up a minute!

*Sigh* He's growing up.

Today on the way home from school, his girlfriend was talking about an apartment she wants to get after she graduates.

Christopher asked me what I thought of him moving out.
I wanted to say "I don't!"

Just yesterday I was remembering him toddling across the living room, propping his elbows against my knees, looking up at me with that sweet little face and clapping his chubby little hands because he made it and didn't fall.

I said, "Well, I guess I think you need to stay home and go to school here where it's cheaper. Then when you have a good job, you need to move out. I don't want you living at home when you're 40. But no, I'm not exactly ready for you to go, either."

No, I really don't think I'm ready. But I am very fortunate. He is a good boy and I know he will do me proud.