Walking and talking

I walk with Cathy just about every night. She's one of my oldest and dearest friends, but we'd lost touch and large chunks of time over the years. So sometimes on our walks, I tell her stories about my life as Ron's wife, just to fill her in on that lost time. We've dubbed them "The Ron Stories." She says they're better than reality TV. Tonight she came up with a better title: "The Ronicles." I love it! I think that will be what I'll call my memoir. Here's the thing. I don't badmouth him. I don't trash him. I don't need to. I don't care enough anymore to spew venom. I'm upset about the hurt he has caused my children, but even that is dimming. I doubt it will fully go away.

I tell my stories in much the same tone as I tell the stories I share here (at least I think I do.) These are just things that have happened, like the Jacksonville story. They're true, and sometimes they defy logic.

For instance, he once bought a bus on eBay for $500. He drove it from Montgomery, Ala. to Augusta, Ga. with a suspended license, no CDL, and no vehicle insurance. The reasoning was that he would convert it into an RV/car hauler so he could travel the racing circuit. It sat in a parking lot for over a year untouched. The racecar never materialized, either. I was upset because that money could have better been used for, oh, I don't know...rent? Insurance? A phone?

Okay...a lot of times these stories defied logic. Sometimes, the idea of sharing these stories with the world at large makes me feel vulnerable. But it's becoming evident to me that even if I never share them with the world, I do need to write this stuff down. Because these things did happen. Because one day my children will need to know their dad, even if it's just through my recollection of him and our life together (which means I owe it to them, myself and anyone else who may read it to be as fair in my memories as possible.) Because frankly, it is entertaining. You just can't make this stuff up!

I'll try to share some here, too, as they come to mind and seem appropriate. We are the sum total of our experiences, and these things helped shape who I am today. For that, and for two amazing kids, I am thankful for my marriage to him.