This morning I spent a little time playing around with my blog settings. Geez. I just want to write! But I also want to hear what you have to say. I was kind of discourged to learn that the site required you to sign into in order to comment. But now I've fixed it (I hope), and that makes me happy. So talk to me!
And now back to our regularly scheduled blogging, already in progress...
Reading back over my posts the other day, I noticed a common theme. Money. Or rather, the lack thereof. I wasn't happy about that. I don't consider myself a materialistic person. Not at all. I want good things in life like everybody else, but they don't need to be the finer things. I don't even mind if the good things are worn at the seams a little, as long as it doesn't show. I don't think I'm engaged in a chasing a bigger bank account. (What would I do with a Jaguar, anyway? Oh...sell it and buy a house!) But what I saw was that virtually everything I've said, in some way spoke about money...and the fact that I don't have much of it. I worried -- in true me fashion -- that it makes me seem obsessed, or that I'm poor-mouthing myself.
The truth of it is, I really don't mind my situation so much. I won't go into a whole lot of detail here -- maybe I can share some stuff later -- but we have more of the good things in life and are more stable as a single parent household than we ever did as a two-parent household. I wouldn't change the way things are. Every need or want that I'm able to meet on my own that is beyond the usual feels fantastic. There's a terrific sense of accomplishment. And my kids understand. It's one of the things that makes them so awesome. They don't ask for much, and they recognize when we're able to do something extra. They make it a point to genuinely thank me for it. Then they appreciate the heck out of it.
So I said to myself (I talk to myself a lot), "Find something to write about that doesn't have to do with money." There has to be other aspects about single parenting that people can relate to that aren't centered around finances.
And then my mind went blank. I can't separate it out. Like, if I look in the mirror and my hair is starting to resemble Pepe LePew, whether or not a put on a hat and run to the store or pull it back in a ponytail and say "it's not so bad" depends on my checking account balance. It also determines how I do karaoke: whether I eat dinner at the restaurant, eat a hot dog at home and have one beer at the restaurant or just drink water. (Yes, I've done that.) Or whether or not the kids go skating or we have a family movie night. Or whether they have apples for an after school snack or cookies.
Meeting my family's needs and desires with what I have is what my single parenting experience is about. This is my challenge. Yours may be something entirely different. If I try to divorce the financial aspect from the rest of it, my single parenting story will not be authentic. It would be phony and not at all enjoyable to read or write. That would be a shame, because my hope for this blog is that somewhere out there, a single mom at her wit's and checkbook's end will find something useful in my story, even if it's just to see that someone somewhere understands.
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