To drink, or not to drink...

I've been thinking deep thoughts lately, which means ya'll are in trouble! ;)

Seriously, though, I've been back and forth all week about whether to write this blog post. It's about alcohol. I have friends and family members that run the gamut on this issue, but I thought I'd put out there where I stand on it because I have found myself rethinking it this week.

I'm not a big drinker. I joke about it sometimes, especially if it's a rough day, but I will drown my sorrows in a cup of decaf with a decadent creamer faster than I will in a Budweiser. I see no point in it. Not that I don't drink. If I'm out with friends, I don't mind having a beer or a margarita or two. If I'm doing karaoke, I usually have a beer. But I don't need it to sing. I have and will get up and sing on nothing stronger than iced tea (and that would be Lipton, not Long Island). I don't keep the stuff in the house, and I have never stopped for any on the way home.

Shots have been done, but I can count on one hand the number I've of those I've had in the last year. The truth is, I don't really like to be drunk. I don't mind getting a little fuzzy around the edges, loosening up and having a good time, but I don't like to feel out of control. I know where my limit is and when I hit it, I feel no shame in switching to water. I'm terrified of waking up in the morning and having someone tell me what I did last night. Where's the fun in that?

I grew up believing that alcohol is evil. Now I believe that alcohol, in and of itself, is not sin. It is just a thing. Like money. Money, by itself, is just a isn't a sin, either. The love of money is a sin. It's when it becomes so important to you that is controls your life. I think the real sin in alcohol is letting it control you. It is in drinking to excess, to the point where you don't care where you are or what you are doing. We all know what drunks look like. They aren't even in control of themselves enough to walk or talk straight. It's even worse if you become dependent on it enough that it takes over your life, kills your relationships and saps your pocketbook. I'm too afraid of it to allow that to happen.

I don't want to recount here what happened to make me rethink my position. I'm careful in choosing which stories to tell in my blog because I don't want to inadvertantly hurt anybody. But I will say I found myself in a situation I didn't want to be in, didn't go willingly, and made me feel like I was 19 again...but not in a good way. And I wondered if I found myself there because I was willing to have one beer.

What do people think of me if they see me drinking? Do they see the fact that I'm having a beer, or do they form a bunch of other perceptions about me? Do they think I do other things, too?

Now, the older I get, the less I give a rat's behind what most people think about me. But at some point, I do have to think about the influence I have on those who are paying attention. I do try to do the right things the best way I know how, because that's who I want to be. And I am a Christian, which requires me to think about the image I'm projecting.

So I wonder. Does doing the right thing mean I should stop having a beer when I'm out with friends, because it might make me seem like I'm okay with drinking to excess...or worse? Should I only choose to have a beer in certain company, who share my philosophy? Does having a beer at all reflect poorly on me as a Christian? Should I just stick to tea from now on regardless?

I haven't really resolved this yet. I have no forseeable occasion for imbibing, but in true me fashion, I would like to figure out what the "right" thing to do before I get there. Until then, I'm probably sticking to tea.

What are your thoughts?