More of what's up...

Oops! It's been a week since I posted last. Sorry, y'all. I'll try to do better!

It's been a busy one, so I'll just hit the high points.

• The kids and I talked to Ronnie, my ex-husband's oldest son, and his wife, Dani, the other day. It's been quite a while since we've talked to him. We all just get busy, you know? They just had a baby girl, Iris. She's about a month old now, and Devon is 4. Gosh, the last time we saw them was in 2007, and she had just found out she was pregnant with him. We were the first to know (well...after them, of course!)
  It was great to talk to them, but what cracked me up was when Ronnie put Devon on the phone and said, "Here, talk to Mamaw!" Devon said, "That's not Mamaw!" Ronnie said, "Yes it is. It's Mamaw Lisa!" Y'all....that one caught me off guard!  Mamaw Lisa. I'm still trying it out, but I kinda like it!

• Catie went to church with a friend the other day. A community church. I won't name it, but she came home afterward talking about witnessing an exorcism. I was completely out of my league with this. I've read about it, and what she described is consistent with what I've read. She was kind of freaked out. I was kind of freaked out. I really didn't know what to say...still don't. But I thought I'd share that anyway.

• Don't say anything to embarrass him, please. I'm sharing this for me...not to call attention to him, okay? But Christopher has found a girl to "talk to." My gut instinct was to go "No....you're too young!" or to tell myself, "well....yeah, but all it's going to be is phone calls and Facebook chats. It's not like they're going to date." Except, well...yeah, they could be. He is old enough. I'm not ready for this!!!

• On a related note, Catie and I were talking about dating and boyfriends. Christopher and I have teased her about her "boyfriend of the week" until she's now reluctant to tell me about it anymore. I promised I wouldn't tease her anymore, and I told her that at her age, I much prefer she have a different boyfriend every week. Then I asked her what having a boyfriend meant to her. She said talking on the phone, that I said he could come over as long as I'm home and they stay in the yard, that they hang out and talk at school and they give each other hugs. I asked her if she promised she would tell me if it was more than that. She said "What more would there be?" Thank you, God! I mumbled something about not knowing, but I just wanted her to feel like she could tell me anything. Whew. I don't know what I'm going to do when she turns 16!

• As for the job thing, I have one possible freelance opportunity, and I really need to get on the ball checking on others. I'm working with the career center and the counseling center at ASU to try to figure out what other occupations can use the skills I have. Frankly, newspapers are so unstable right now that, as much as I love it, I don't want to be in that business anymore. I've got my resume submitted to several job banks and I'm searching for other types of jobs I may want to apply for, but it's hard to know where to look. I'm starting to think it would be easier to find a sugar daddy! (I don't know where to look for one of those, either!) (And I'm completely kidding!)

• Have I mentioned my sister is coming home today? Holy cow...my social schedule has filled up for the next week, because we are going to be doing all the things they have missed in their three years in Germany. There's gonna be steak dinners, swimming, baseball games. I'm not sure where we're fitting in karaoke yet, but it's soon, I'm sure. I can't wait...and y'all have to come hear her sing. She is da bomb!!!

A Single Point of View: This is what's up

A Single Point of View: This is what's up: Where did today go? Oh, that's right. I slept most of it! I slept so good last night, cool, snuggled under the covers in my own bed. And d...

This is what's up

Where did today go? Oh, that's right. I slept most of it!

I slept so good last night, cool, snuggled under the covers in my own bed. And darned if I didn't forget to hook up the box fan. So I was dead to the world from 11-ish until 5:30 a.m., when Christopher's alarm went off. <grumble> That will be fixed tonight.

I'm not sure if it was lack of caffeine, stress, or just catching up on sleep, but I woke up with the most horrible headache. Not one of my infamous migraines, but painful nonetheless. So when do business people decide to call me? Yup...8:30 a.m. And I purposefully had not had my first cup of coffee yet, because a nap was totally in order...and I slept until almost noon. Ahhhh!

I spent the afternoon tallying up my stories for my resume. It took a couple of hours, but that was kind of fun. It was like, "Ooh...I remember this one. That was a fun one!" "Wow...I really wrote that many in a year?"

I think I'm slightly relaxing my stance on non-writing jobs. It makes me sad to think of working a job where I'd never get to write. It might be fun to work on a weekly community paper again, I think. You know what I really wish, though? I wish I had the guts to start up a freelance business doing all different types of writing. When I dream, this is what I dream of. But I worry that a) I wouldn't be able to support my family on it -- there are no guarantees -- and b) the laundry monster would interfere too often. I think maybe it boils down to a lack of faith in myself. But really, I mean...can I afford to fail??

Anywho. Since my home is comfortable enough to move around in again, and I have accomplished a few things job-search-related today, I need to catch up on some housework.

It's funny how the house takes on a different feel when things aren't working right.

For instance, when the air conditioning is working and it's a cool 78 degrees, these atmosphere within these four walls feels very comfortable and homey. I am concerned with making sure things are clean and in some semblance of order, and that things are running efficiently (or as efficiently as possible).

When things are working right, I work to make sure the kids are fed halfway decently and on some kind of routine. That the clothes are washed, folded and put away. That the floors are vacuumed and the bathrooms are clean. My things are my things...they're cherished. Since most of them are passed down, I feel the love of the people who had them before me.

But for the last week, things haven't been working right. Namely, the air conditioning.These four walls didn't feel like home. They were just a place. A hot place. A place I didn't want to be. And my things, instead of feeling like cherished possessions, felt like just a random collection of stuff. I didn't care if they were in the right place or not. I barely saw them.

I hate feeling like I don't want to be at home.

It's funny how a simple thing like air temperature can disrupt your life. I mean, if it's just mildly warm, you can go on with life as normal. It was too warm in my house for a week. We had box fans in both front windows. Christopher chose to sleep on the couch with the fans blowing on him, because it was cooler than in his room. Catie slept on my floor, because my room was cooler than hers. None of us slept well. Which meant I was even less inclined to do anything around the house. I started worrying about how the heat was affecting things inside the house...like the refrigerator. For comfort and some kind of sleep, we spent the last several days hanging out at my mom's where it's cool. But her stuff is not my stuff. I really wanted to clean my house, and take care of things in my home.

Thankfully, today the air was fixed. At least I it seems to be. I'm typing on my computer, listening to my music, sitting in my pajamas and feeling like I can really relax.

I am thankful for air conditioning, and I'm thankful to be home. But I am also deeply thankful that my mom is so close, and that my kids and I could take refuge at her house.

A Single Point of View: Cats and men don't mix?

A Single Point of View: Cats and men don't mix?: I was watching one of those Fancy Feast commercials on TV the other day and I thought -- with a serious degree of sadness, I might add -- "I...

Cats and men don't mix?

I was watching one of those Fancy Feast commercials on TV the other day and I thought -- with a serious degree of sadness, I might add -- "If I get married before the kids go off to college, I can't get a cat!"

Ya'll, my air conditioning has been out since Wednesday. The heat must be frying my brain. I mean, where the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks did THAT come from??

For starters, in order to consider marriage even a remote possibility at any point in the future, don't you need some kind of a prospect? I'm not even dating anyone.

And even if it weren't...even if marriage was distantly visible on my horizon...if I wanted a cat, he'd better say yes ma'am and like it! He could have his dog (I haven't met too many male cat lovers), as long as it doesn't eat my cat.

We don't have a cat now. We don't have any animals. Partly because I don't want to pay my landlord $200 for them to live here. Partly because I figure I have enough to take care of without adding pets to the mix. (Yeah, like the kids would remember to feed it!) And partly because Christopher seems to be allergic to animals...especially cats. His eyes swell up, the back of his throat itches and his asthma flares. This is why I have to wait until he moves out to get one. I guess I better make sure he won't be moving back home first, huh?

My theory has been that if the kids are gone, I'll need a cat to keep me company. I won't know what to do with myself if I don't have anyone to take care of, I guess. (Or...I miss having a cat, and one excuse is as good as the next.) Once the kids are grown I might have the energy and the resources to see after a pet. Plus it would be nice to have a purring furball in my lap to absentmindedly stroke while I'm watching chick-flicks and eating bon bons.

Those are the days I have little confidence I'll meet anyone I'll want to share my life with before the kids go off to college. Or better yet, the days when I'm positive I'll prefer a cat's company to a man's. (Remind me to blog at some point about my proposed founding of the world's first Baptist convent!)

I must say, I'm really intrigued and quite amused by this oddball notion that I can never have both. <<scoff>> Says who??

We eatin' good! :)

Last night I fixed Cheesy Beef Casserole. It's kind of like lasagna with egg noodles, and it's one of our favorite dishes. I almost never make it because a) I rarely had the time to make it; b) I don't usually keep some of the ingredients on hand, things that are crucial to the dish and buying them extra costs extra money...which I wouldn't usually spend, and c) I keep forgetting about it.

I brought home salad the other day from Jan's. She'd cooked dinner and had tons left over, so we had that and garlic bread with dinner last night. Normally, it's just the casserole. We don't get very fancy 'round here.

Not only that, but I tried to make frozen pudding pops! (Lesson learned...it doesn't work in cheap popsicle molds. Stick to Dixie cups.) The kids are feeling pretty special because Mama's actually cooking stuff other than hot dogs and mac and cheese.

Know what's really awesome about it? Guess what I had for lunch? Heck yeah! AND...it's very filling, so I put enough leftovers in the freezer for dinner another night! :D I have teenagers, remember? I've almost forgotten what leftovers look like!

I've planned about a week's worth of all of our favorite dishes that we rarely have because I never had time to cook them. Like, I don't remember the last time we even had meatloaf. But you can bet your sweet bippy we will have it in the next couple of days. And maybe even some fried chicken and gravy! Oh, man. All this time to cook could be a good thing or a bad thing. Perhaps I need to start walking in the mornings, too! LOL

If you're interested, here is the Cheesy Beef Casserole recipe:

4 cups uncooked medium egg noodles
1 lb ground beef
1/4 cup chopped onion
2 cans (8 oz each) tomato sauce (or 1 regular can)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
1 cup (8 oz) small curd cottage cheese
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/3 cup sliced onions (I usually omit them)
1/4 cup chopped green pepper

Cook noodles according to package directions. Meanwhile, cook beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Add tomato sauce, garlic powder, salt and pepper.
In a bowl, combine cream cheese, cottage cheese Parmesan cheese, green onions and green pepper. Drain noodles.
Layer half of the noodles in a 13 x 9 x 2 inch baking dish. Top with half the meat and cheese mixtures. Repeat layers. Sprinkle with additional Parmesan, if desired. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until heated through.

This freezes really well, so you could make two at one time and freeze one for later. :)

Just reflecting. Man, I am blessed!

The kids are back in school. Some of my friends have settled their kids into college dorms. The scorching August temperatures have abated into the low 90s. According to the academic calendar, fall is here.

It's one time of the year my ex is closer to the surface. This year not so much as in years past, but still he's on my mind now.

It hit me the other day that it's coming up on five years since we split up. (For those of you who don't know, we haven't seen him in 4 1/2 years. He comes close to the surface of my memory in May, too...for that reason.)

Five whole years. That's hard to believe. Within those five years I have graduated college, established a career and took fabulous trips I would not have been able to take while I was married. Through the grace of God, the kids enjoy a stability they never knew before, and I had forgotten. I have re-established friendships and created new ones. I grew closer to my kids and my family. I have a house that I am not embarrassed by, and a car I don't have to apologize for. I found a church I love and am growing in. I like myself...for the first time ever.

I really don't have anything insightful to share today. There is no need for me to recount for you the details of "the day", though every detail is burned into my memory. Nor am I trying to pat myself on the back for what I've accomplished, because I really didn't accomplish much. God has blessed us. I've only tried to do what I thought was right...one of the great freedoms of my "new" life.

I guess I'm just in a reflective mood this morning, and I needed to, in some way, put it writing.

Look how God has prospered us in five years. So, dear friends, if you see me struggling to keep my chin up now, please remind me he has brought us out of...and prospered us after...much tougher times than these.

Useful again!

Today was my first day of volunteer work at Golden Harvest Food Bank. Have I mentioned I'm excited to be doing something useful? I hope to find a way to continue volunteering there once I find a job.

I spent the afternoon sorting cans of soft drinks - tossing those that were too far out of date and replacing the ones that are still usable.

My hands got filthy. I wanted to take a picture of them after I finished working, but I got thirsty and the sweat from my water bottle washed them off. Trust me. They were nasty. This could be a reminder to us all to wash our soda cans before we drink from them. Who knows where those things have been. But I digress.

For three and a half hours, this is all I did. And do you know what? It was awesome. There were maybe 10 people working in the area (that I could see, anyway). Someone had a radio playing on the other side of the room. The lady I worked with had gospel music playing from her phone. She started on one side of the shelf, on the opposite end, doing the same work. Sometimes she sang along with the music - and beautifully, I might add.

"Lisa! You still on your first box?"

I'm on my second, I told her.

"I'm on my fifth! Keep up!" she teased.

"Give her a break. She just started," the manager chimed in. We all laughed.

I loved the jovial mood. It was so nice to be doing something useful, and to be working with my hands. It's hard to forget the reason I am there, and who the food is going to bless.

The area I worked in resembled a warehouse-style grocery store. People from non-profit organizations come here to get food to distribute to the needy.  

Sometimes, I couldn't read the expiration date. Maybe it didn't look old, and I'd briefly consider putting it back in the box. But then I heard my co-worker's voice again say, "When in doubt, throw it out. I don't want to make anybody sick." Out it went.

It hurt to throw away a whole case of apple cider. It looked fine to me, but I couldn't find the expiration date. But the people who need this stuff deserve to get good stuff. Out it went.

Stress relief, apparently, comes from throwing the cartfuls of old drinks into the dumpster. I had to empty my cart several times. Chucking bottles hard enough to break and splatter definitely relieves some stress.

"Pretend it's somebody you're mad at!" I was told. :)

And just like that, it was over. I can't wait to see what I'll be doing next week!

I love being a woman!

I'm sweating like...well, I don't have to tell you. But it's sure not ladylike.

Weatherbug says it's 88 degrees outside. When I stepped out to go for a walk about 45 minutes ago, it felt great. By the end of my walk...not so much. Is it October yet?

Cathy says she can't walk this week, just because she's got to get up at 5 a.m. for work. Wimp! ;) Catie happily stepped in. But she walks too fast! And in jeans!

For some reason, she has decided that she only likes wearing jeans, even during a sweltering Georgia summer. Something about not wanting to show off her legs. Are we sure she's my child?? I know I carried her and all, but...

Me? I'm out walking in a skirt. I have decided that skirts are God's gifts to us women. See, men can only wear shorts so short before they start talking soprano and we start to wonder about them. Skirts allow a lot of air and minimal fabric to trap heat. I love them!

Plus I have no qualms about showing off my legs. Even if I had cankles, I've decided I'm too old to let comfort fall by the wayside in order to look...hot?? (Jeans sure don't look cool during a southern August!)

I figure skirts are the nearest thing to wearing nothing at all and still look decent. Nice, even. I told my daughter I refuse to put on pants until I absolutely have to. We live in Georgia and God gave us skirts, for crying out loud!

The Unemployment Chronicles, Pt. 2

I know...I know. You would think since I have all of this time on my hands, I could write more blog posts.

The kids are in school now. Perhaps that will help. And I don't feel as much in turmoil this week. Last week I found myself sobbing into my pillow at oddball times, laying around feeling lethargic, not wanting to be home, not wanting to go out.  I'm telling you it feels like the end of a relationship! It's a good thing I'm not a bon bon eater. I'd weigh 400 pounds by now. Although I am craving ice cream.

But now my eyes are dry, I finally got some sleep (okay...in between finally falling asleep about midnight and hearing Christopher's alarm at 5:30 a.m. One perk to not having a job: going back to bed after the kids leave!), and I feel much better.

Over breakfast and coffee I filled out unemployment forms. I've been holding off. When I worked at Winn Dixie all those years ago, people occasionally came in and asked for applications. When told we weren't hiring, they replied that they didn't care, they just needed to put in applications and then asked the manager to sign their paperwork. I really, really don't want to have to ask anybody to sign off on a form stating that I've applied for a job. But after reading carefully over the website, it looks like all I have to do is keep a record of where I've applied or sent my resume. I was going to do that anyway, for my own records. So why not let that bring me a paycheck?

I also dusted off my resume. It's almost ready to go. I expect to spend part of this week just poking around the internet and seeing what I come up with. If I see something interesting, I'll be ready to apply. I plan to meet with a career counselor very soon to hopefully help me find some direction and focus my job search. I plan to set that up by the week's end.

But for now it's almost time for Christopher to come home. I'm anxious to hear how the first day of 11th grade went. And Catie's all excited that she gets to use a locker this year. But she won't be home for quite a while.

Today, I accomplished what I wanted to. And now that I've found an ounce or two of energy, I will be spending the rest of the day going about the business of being a mom!

Those golden summer days

How is it I have two children who do not enjoy the lake?

We went to Lake Springs yesterday. It was Tuesday. No one was there. This made me happy. The kids...not so much.

About an hour into it they started in with "I want to go home." I was like, "Really? You've been home all summer!"

They wanted the computer. Television. Phone.

"I loved going to the lake when I was your age. And it was usually just me, Aunt Rhonda, Papaw and Grandma Jo!" I told them.

"We're bored," they said. Perhaps this is a failure of mine as a parent.

We had the best times at the lake when I was a kid, let me tell you. It was our second home. You could go anywhere if you could find a spot, and Daddy was good at finding them. I can picture those places in my head, but I couldn't tell you where they are now for the life of me. Now you can't go anywhere if it isn't in a park, where you have to pay for a day use pass.

Daddy had an S-10 pickup with a camper shell on the back. He cut a piece of foam rubber to fit the bed of the truck, and that was our camper. The two adults and one of us children could sleep back there. The other child slept on the front seat. We were small enough that it worked.

The lake was so pretty in the mornings. We woke up earlier than we ever could in town. The air was cool, the water was still, the birds would sing. And we'd have to go find a tree somewhere. Because you know, park fees pay for facilities, and the freedom to move around the lake freely came without toilets. Name the one thing I hate about camping!

Daddy would rekindle the campfire from the night before, and brew coffee using an old tin percolator coffeepot and water from the lake. All of the silt sunk to the bottom of the lake overnight, leaving clean water on the top, he explained. We never really were convinced. Luckily I still believed coffee would stunt my growth.

Hours upon hours were spent floating on the lake, drinking Cokes and eating Pecan Sandies. JoEtta would try to get more freckles, she said. Rhonda and I splashed, swam and shrieked when fish bit our legs. Daddy's back was our diving board. We did fantastic somersaults using his hands as a springboard. Sometimes he just threw us, and that worked really well, too.

If we weren't swimming, we were fishing. I learned to bait my own hook. I learned that fishes respond to "Here, fishy, fishy, fishy!" and will promptly swallow my hook. To this day though, I need a strapping savior to take that fish off my hook. I've been finned enough! 

If we weren't swimming or fishing, we were walking through the woods. We had the best times hiking little known trails, although we probably complained that we'd rather be swimming. We'd see neat rock formations, foundations from old houses, all kinds of things. There were some scary moments, too. Snakes also like to hike little known trails. And then they raise their little heads and pretend to be sticks that your sister and dad breeze right past. Or run across little girls' paths trying to get to the water, causing little girls to scream and dance and yell "Daddy! Snake! Heeellllp!"

I always had a book, too, so if we weren't doing any of that, I was on the beach happily lost in a fantasy world.

*Sigh.* I asked Catie what on earth she thought she would do all day if I took her camping. Did she say "Please don't take me camping?" Is that what she said? I think it sounded something like that.

Perhaps it's time I teach my children to enjoy being alone and quiet for a minute.

Earworms

One line from a Tanya Tucker song has been running through my head since yesterday morning.

Without you, what do I do with me?

Okay, two. The other is "What do I do with all of our plans, and how do I spend all this time on my hands?"

I'd forgotten I really like that song. Until I just YouTubed it, I hadn't heard it in years.

It's not because I miss the job or wish things were different. It's just that the days suddenly seem interminable. I can only read so much and watch so much TV. And it's only Tuesday! (Incidentally, I have discovered I love Rizzoli & Isles. Thank you, Comcast, for having multiple episodes on OnDemand.)

Luckily, I do have plans for tomorrow and Thursday. And Friday evening, for that matter. Plans are good. I like plans.

Anywho. I was making my bed and those lyrics ran through my head one more time. I needed to share them. Carry on!